Friday, April 2, 2010

First Page Blogfest! The Goddess of Vengeance Wore Pink Galoshes

Continuing with the alphabet theme challenge discussed yesterday... B is for Blogfest!

Thanks to Kelly for this awesome blogfest! Be sure to stop by her site to check out the first pages on other sites!

This is the (admittedly rough) first page of The Goddess of Vengeance Wore Pink Galoshes:

Lauren Reed was in the middle of making a vanilla latte when she was first visited by the goddess of vengeance.

The old lady’s shoulders slumped, one lower than the other, weighed down by a totebag brimming with notebooks. “Tea, please,” she said. “And a cranberry-orange muffin.”

Lauren smiled at her over the espresso machine. “What sort of tea would you like?”

“I don’t care about kinds of tea,” the lady said.

“Would you like me to pick something for you?” Lauren asked. “Maybe the traditional Earl Gray, or a raspberry green tea?”

“Sure,” the lady said. “Like I said, I don’t care about tea.”

Lauren topped off the tall cup with foamed milk and set it down on the counter. “Here you go, Beth,” she called towards the table by the windows. Most of the folks in the Burnt Sugar Coffee House were regulars, but Lauren hadn’t seen this grouchy woman before.  She glanced back over at her. The woman was swaying on her feet.

“You know what, if you’d like to sit down, I can bring this over to you.”

The old woman looked at her sharply, as if she hadn’t noticed Lauren before. “That’s very kind of you,” she said. “Yes, I think I’d like that. I’ll go sit down.”   She shuffled over to one of the tables near the counter, groaned as she swung the tote bag of notebooks off her shoulder.

Lauren put a wedge of lemon and two sugar packets with the tea bag on the edge of the saucer, and carried the tea and plated muffin out. The woman was engrossed in looking over one of her notebooks, and started when Lauren set the plate down besides her hand. “Oh,” she murmured. “You’re kind. Very kind. Perfect.”

“You’re welcome,” Lauren said, and then felt awkward, since the lady hadn’t said thank you. “It’s three-seventy-five for the tea and muffins.”

“All the great old institutions are disempowered. All gone. Now we must all bumble on as best we can.”

Lauren was always patient with customers.  “What institutions are those?”

In response for her efforts, the woman raised her eyebrows as if she were stupid. “The small gods, of course. All the small gods have been disempowered. They drift around, out of form.”

“Ah,” Lauren said. “You know what? The tea and muffin are on the house. Enjoy.”

The lady reached out and grabbed her arm as she turned to go. “You look like a strong girl. A nice, strong girl. Broad in the shoulders.”


Alicia J. Frey said...

This is wonderful. I am intrigued and want more. Well done.

Christine Danek said...

I'm wondering why she made that last statement. Great job!

sarahjayne smythe said...

I love this title. :) And I really am interested in finding out more. :)

Summer said...

Oooh, yay! I love this story's premise; excited to read the first page! And hoping for more teasers...? ;-)

Matthew Rush said...

Morning Guinevere, what fun opening pages. I love it how you start off kind of light hearted and funny. Then you hit us with some seriousness and mystery right and the end there ... I would definitely keep reading!

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Tara said...

Great title, terrific opening line, and awesome hook at the end. This one sounds intriguing and fun. Nice.

Stephanie Thornton said...

Very intriguing! I like the setting too- totally unexpected!

Ellen Brickley said...

Brilliant start, Guinevere! I'd keep reading, and very fast :)

Courtney Barr - The Southern Princess said...

interesting....very interesting...I like the picture in my head of the old woman...very good.

Visit My Kingdom Anytime

roxy said...

Really good, Guinevere. I liked the tone of this piece very much. You blend humor and mystery so well. I love this blogfest!

Natalie Murphy said...

I'm intrigued! I like how you wrote this, it flowed nicely from one sentence to another. Good job =)

Jen said...

I want to know more, you pulled me in and then left me hanging at the end!!!

I'm loving this blogfest!!

Julie said...

I am also intrigued. This is really interesting and I love the coffee house name.

Shelley Sly said...

Love this! I've always loved the title, and the old woman is so interesting/mysterious. I'd love to read more!

Piedmont Writer said...

Cute, really cute. Makes me want to start wreaking my own vengeance on some little gods I know.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Oh, Guinevere, I love this! I can totally visualize the scene and I'm hooked. I have so many questions I want answers to - what a great beginning. :-)

Guinevere said...

Thanks for all the kind comments, all! It is so good to hear your feedback and feel the enthusiasm for this story. I am so excited about this WIP right now!