Unplugging: This Is NOT a Tutorial

Man, the small tsunami that is my life in a new semester started and I just vanished under the blogging waves, huh?

(There's a reason I don't use metaphor much in my writing, by the way).

Well, a part of my recent disappearance was school, writing class, and my ongoing attempts in the gym to redevelop some type of muscular definition (Result cloudy, try again after diet, says the Magic 8-Ball of my personal trainer), but the other part was my unplugged weekend.  For the part few weeks I've been turning to M.J. enthusiastically, preferably in the early morning as we're making the sleepy uncaffeinated commute to work, and saying, "We're going CAMPING!"

To which M.J. said, "Ugh. Yeah. Camping." Which is why I have to be so enthusiastic, you see, for the two of us. And also because it irritates him, and marriage is finding that one special person to antagonize for the rest of your life.

And then it was Friday, and "We're going camping TODAY!"

"Ugh."

"And it will be FUN!"

"Ugh."

Friday was a long day full of stupid people, and that's all I'm going to say about that.  By the time we got the car packed and got underway, it was after dark and I was doing Lamaze-type breathing techniques to prevent myself from short circuiting. It was really an ideal weekend to leave humanity behind. But not so far behind that there wasn't a discount department store if we forgot something, not that we'd ever be so disorganized...

We got there and set up our tent in the dark, which was quite the comedy of errors, since it's a brand-new tent and we were trying to read directions by the headlights. Also, the people at the next campsite over had their lawn chairs set up facing in our direction, and they just stared at us the entire time as we asked those deep questions of life like, "Wait, so where do these little poles go?"  Their staring was creepy.  The fact that they were still staring at our tent did not prevent us from setting it a-swaying. I had to do something to improve MJ's attitude about camping.

The next day we stepped out into the FREEZING COLD AIR Holy Crap Nature and were eager to get breakfast going. Except that our little hibachi grill was a sad grill.  It did not have a propane regulator. So here's the first photo from our camping trip:

 So, we bought supplies because we weren't going to have much of a camping experience without fire, and ate trail mix until we finally managed to get back to the campsite and start a fire.

Even with the generous use of lighter fluid, that put breakfast around 11am...

But there was BACON! And pancakes cooked in BACON GREASE! And it was seriously the most tasty meal I've eaten in ages.

And in case you were wondering based off my photo, no, combs and cosmetics are considered to be not in the spirit of camping.

We played mini-golf, played cards, poked at the fire more, grilled various meats, toasted an entire bag of marshmallows, stared at the flames, drank a lot of rum and Coke (me) and beers (him), asked each other deep questions... OK, that was me.  I waited until M.J. tried to wrap his mouth around a burning marshmallow and then asked, "So, would you consider yourself a cultural relativist?" Somehow it was all terribly relaxing.

Eventually we discovered that the campsite actually has Wi-Fi. But you know what?

I was happier unplugged.  Just for a little while.

And on Sunday when we drove home, M.J. asked, "So when are we going camping again?"

You know, being right might be even sweeter than pancakes cooked in bacon grease paired with a rum and Coke for breakfast!

*Oh, and the people with the creepy staring turned out in daylight to be a family of Mennonites. Not sure if that makes me feel better, or worse...