H is for the homeless, I is for idealism

Once, when a friend and I were planning a trip into D.C., she said, "But seriously, I'm only going in without you if you promise not to talk to the homeless people."

I don't remember what I'd done before to bring that on. I have an admittedly low capacity for resistance to people asking me for food, though, which may make me a sucker. I've volunteered with homeless teenagers before, so I know sometimes people are trying to get money for things that are... not food. But still.

Yesterday I was in Baltimore by myself. I parked my car in a lot and as I walked out,  there was no one around except a young man with a beard and worn-looking clothes. He came over to me, said, "I don't know if you can help me..."

"I'll try," I said, thinking he was going to ask me for directions, which was just going to be bad for both of us. I can barely give directions to my house, forget a city I don't live in.

"I'm trying to buy some food," he said.

"Oh, sure." I pulled my wallet out of my purse and opened it, and then realized - and I'm sure he saw too - that I had around a dozen $20's. I'd just picked up cash the day before to pay a friend for a piece of exercise equipment for our home gym.

I couldn't help but think... man, this guy is probably a nice guy who's down on his luck, but the nicest guy in the world who's hungry has got to be thinking he could punch me in the face and walk off with my wallet right now, even if he never would.

That didn't happen. But I thought two things, afterwards. One, maybe I'm dumb for stopping and opening up my wallet when I'm alone and there's no one else around.  Two, I wish I'd walked around the corner with him to the Subway and bought him lunch instead of giving him a few bucks and hurrying off to my meeting. It would have been a bit more meaningful of a gesture. So what if I'd been two minutes late?

And those two thoughts are completely contradictory.

I know we all have our own philosophies - some people give to panhandlers, some only give to charities that help the homeless. I don't think there's anything wrong with any of those different perspectives.

But personally, when someone asks me for food, I don't see any reason not to give. I guess I'd rather be a little dumb sometimes.

G is for Guinevere

When my parents were choosing names, they debated between Cassiopia (for the space-prostitute-turned-nurse from Battlestar Galactica) and Guinevere, of Arthurian legend.

Neither of these are popular baby names in the U.S.

Mythologically speaking, Cassiopia was the braggart queen that claimed to be prettier than Posiedon's sea nymphs. Because Poseidon was, apparently, a psycho, this resulted in him unleashing a monster on the coast of her country. Cassiopia and her husband chained their daughter Andromeda to a rock as an offering to quell the beast. Luckily, Andromeda was rescued by a convenient hero, Perseus.  Happy ending! Your parents didn't get you killed!

So that story sort of sucks. However, according to the baby name sites, the name means "She whose words excel" (judging from the story, her words excel at starting trouble), so I do like that.

Guinevere, of course, was a great queen in Arthurian legend right up until she cheated on Arthur with Lancelot and caused the downfall of Camelot (Of course - woman-blaming is fun!). The name is translated alternately as meaning "White spirit" or "White wave" or a combination of white and smooth. I was fated by my name to be this damn pale.

The name's generally considered to be rooted in Welsh, but I've also read some argument that Guinevere historically speaking was likely French.

In the end, my parents went with Guinevere.  When I was a kid, I was the only Guinevere I knew. I was obsessed with Arthurian legend (yes, along with the forensic pathology. I was... well-rounded?). I didn't like my name as a child, though. It was so weird, and seriously, I was already weird enough.  I didn't mind when people butchered it and called me "Jen" instead (which is derived from Guinevere).

I grew into my name, though. It helped that I got to leave my childhood home, where it seemed everyone was named Crystal or Jessica. And I married a man with a very English last name which sounds lovely with Guinevere, than my rather ethnic maiden name (which was something akin to Polishlongnameoffski). And that I just plain grew up, and being different - in any way - no longer seems like the little disaster it is at eleven.

In other words, good news, Mom: I've abandoned my childhood plans to change my name to Jane!

F is for... F is for...

When I was trying to come up with a topic for E, I brainstormed words that start with E and I just kept coming up with eels. Why yes, Brain, eels starts with no one but TWO E's, but that alone doesn't make eels a great blog post topic.

Today with F I'm stuck on fish. There's a whole under-the-sea theme going on in my subconscious.

But let's move on to F for forensic pathology.  As a kid, I was obsessed with forensic pathology.  I watched "X-Files" and "Silence of the Lambs" at an embarrassingly tender age.  I read forensic science textbooks and pathology case studies.

I planned to become a forensic pathologist right up until I realized it was thirteen years of further education post-high school and that I just could. not. commit.  And then I studied history in college, which was every bit of gruesome as forensic pathology, and went off into the Marines and generally forgot about the entire subject. I don't even watch C.S.I.

Recently, though, I started writing mysteries, often mysteries in historic settings, and I remember bits of case studies I read fifteen years ago. I've been surprised to realize that it's true nothing you ever learn is ever really lost (details, yes, general concepts, no), and I'm not sure any interest ever fades away completely. 

So now, instead of that weird kid reading true crime, I'm that weird adult reading articles from the International Journal of Forensic Science. Booya.

E is for Escalators and other scary things

As a kid, I watched a lot of R-rated films and TV shows without any apparent harm. I loved "Silence of the Lambs" and "Pippi Longstocking" equally.

What did mess me up, though, was the evening news.

I particularly remember being very little - three or four - and playing in our living room while my dad watched the news.  They ran a news story about a woman involved in an escalator accident when her shoe got stuck in the escalator.  Of course, in my childish imagination she was dragged into the depths of the escalator and never seen again.

The next time my mom and I went to Woolworth's, I stared at the escalator, trying to figure out how a whole person could be sucked into an escalator. I wondered what was in the body of the escalator, underneath the treads. Probably trolls.

And, to my mom's bafflement, I'm sure, I refused to get on the escalator. I would spend the next eight years or so of my life taking stairs or elevators until the pressure of being an adolescent mall rat forced me to confront my fears and save face in front of my friends.

But now I'm an adult. I've researched escalator accidents and being aware of how to prevent them (a handy tip: don't wear Crocs on escalators. Actually, to be safe, you might want to never wear Crocs). I realize no one is getting sucked into the escalator mechanism and that, worse case scenario, you're probably just going to mangle a toe or too -- I'm a marathon runner, we mangle our own toes, that's no big deal.  I understand there are no trolls.

I still hesitate, do a little stutter-step, every time I get onto an escalator, though. I just want to be careful. Old fears die hard.

Anyone else have any irrational perfectly logical childhood fears?

C is for Cars, D is for Debt

This weekend MJ and I went car shopping. We test drove a few cars, poked around the used cars, and were having a pretty good experience until that terrible moment at the end of visiting a car dealership where they bring out the big guns.

Do they do this everywhere or just in Virginia? You look at some cars, you talk to a salesperson, you take a test drive, and then they're like "Oh, real quick, let me grab my sales manager to give you the hard sell until you wish you'd never thought of buying a new car."

This sales manager was a particularly interesting case. He talked loudly and excitedly without making eye contact.  He flipped a pen between his hands as he talked at us, asking how aggressive a deal he'd need to make for us to buy a car today, and asking the same questions repeatedly.

At a key moment in his spiel, he told us, "Look, I will give you twenty percent off a car today. That's unheard of. That's such a good deal, it's an investment. Tell me that's not an investment."
I tried to stop myself, but...well... he asked. I said, "Well, it's not an investment. By definition, an investment is something that appreciates in value. This car is going to depreciate. I'm not trying to be difficult, but I'm getting my Master's in Finance and - that's just not an investment."

"Okay, okay," he said. He repeated his spiel over again, and then finished with, "Tell me that's not an investment!"

You know what happened next.

I'd feel badly for this dude, who is just trying to do his job, right? And here I am, unable to resist the impulse to define key financial terms for him.  But when we were test driving the car, the dealer told us about how many young kids from the nearby base come in and buy sports cars. He didn't know how they could afford them.  And, having spent lots of time with young Marines and their financial troubles, I'd have to say they can't.

But maybe someone convinces them it's an investment!

B is for Babies

I'm a planner by nature. There are a few things that are tough to plan -- writing and publishing, for instance, refuse so far to submit to a calendar -- but I plan everything I possibly can. I used to have a career flowchart hanging on the wall of my bedroom, with various divergences planned for in multi-color Sharpie.

I've grown out of that, a little, but not much.

When MJ and I first married, we said it was nice we were marrying a little younger than most of our family and friends did. We'd have a few years together to just enjoy being, and then we could start a family while we were younger, too. We thought we'd have our first baby at 27 or so, which happens to be the age I am now (with 28 rapidly approaching).

But then the career plans and the budget plans and the travel plans overtook the early baby thoughts.  I want to run just one more marathon before I settle into the walking-and-yoga routine typical of pregnant ladies. I'd like to have X dollars in the bank. I want to go to England, Ireland, France and Japan before we give up traveling for a season. I had to finish grad school pre-baby. I must finish up 3 years at my present assignment and settle into a new job before we have a baby. I should sell a book first, maybe two, because who knows what the baby will do to my writing equilibrium.

That's a lot of To Do pre-baby. It pushed the baby schedule out into my early 30's.

And lately? I'm not sure I care about any of it.  I just want to have a baby, and let the plans work themselves out. No Sharpies or schedules.

That feels a little scary.

A is for ASIM

Alright, I dithered on whether or not to do the A to Z blogging challenge like last year, since I'm in the last month of grad school (YAY!), but it was just so much fun last year I had to.

My post for A is on the Andromeda Spaceways In-Flight Magazine Pre-Slushing Workshop (man, say that three times fast). ASIM is one of the pro-paying sci-fi markets. They ran a workshop where authors posted the first 300 words of their short stories, and then editors commented on what they liked, didn't like, and whether they'd read on.

Since we so rarely get substantive feedback from editors, this was a great chance to see what works for them and what doesn't.  If you write sci-fi  or just want a look at how editors read, you might want to go over to Patty Jansen's blog, Must Use Bigger Elephants, and check out the slush.

If you're curious, too, one of my short stories is in there as slush too - the first 300 words of ALL WE KNOW OF HEAVEN AND HELL is posted here with editorial comments.

Grammar is not my thing (but parentheses, oh parentheses are...)

I've always thought of myself as a good writer. As a kid, I hated grammar and paid as little attention to English class as possible, but I also read voraciously and wrote for fun. I wrote everything - short stories, poetry, abortive attempts at novels, essays. I wrote essays for fun. I studied vocabulary for fun. I'd usually go through my vocabulary workbook by the end of September and then spend the rest of the year making up my own vocabulary lessons that no one ever wanted to do.

Basically, I was a little geek until you planted me in front of an English workbook and told me to diagram sentences, at which point my Love of Learning evaporated in a sad little puff of smoke.

Also, I don't do things I don't want to do, as a general rule, unless you offer me money. And no one did that in fifth grade. So I never really diagrammed any sentences. I did develop what I believe is a decent ear for English and a very natural, thoughtless approach to writing. That approach served me well enough throughout my school career and into work -- despite the fact that I struggle to recall what the difference is between an adjective and an adverb.

But I've been realizing lately that's not enough. Two people recently critiqued two different pieces of my writing where I used 'laid' when I should have written 'lay'. Reading 'Reasoning with Vampires' (which, besides being snarky as hell, is also pretty educational) has made me wonder about my indiscriminate use of commas (the comma is never wrong!) and perhaps excessively enthusiastic love of the em-dash. And, well, the parentheses. If you read my blog, you probably know how I feel about parentheses (LOVE! I'd make sweet love resulting in baby (parentheses) if I weren't already married). 

I want to be more than a good writer. I want to be a great writer. That might mean breaking rules of English composition on occasion, but it should be deliberate, not because I write the way I talk.

So I have some studying to do. But seriously?

I'm still not diagramming any sentences.

Limitless

This weekend I saw Limitless at the theater. It was my reward to myself for a) writing a ten page paper about Adidas' acquisitions (not exciting) and b) adding ten thousand words to my novel (exciting!).

And it was a perfect reward. Limitless was an amazing movie - one of the best I've seen in a while.

Limitless is a sci-fi flick about a down-on-his-luck writer who gets the chance to try out a miracle drug that allows the user to access every part of their brain, every memory of everything they've seen and read, every bit of analytical power.

Too bad it has some side effects. And that everyone wants a piece of the guy with the drug...

I loved that the main character is a writer (watch the trailer!), although I must admit they didn't exactly write publishing exactly (an advance on his novel before it's written? um, about that...).  I love the voice in this movie - the humor, the narrative was a little reminiscent of what I liked about fight club.  It had a great concept, and a plot that made the ending as perfect as the beginning.  It's just a fun sci-fi action flick.

Also, the lead Bradley Cooper is wicked hot.

Show me the voice!

Brenda Drake is holding this very cool blogfest/contest where you post the first 250 words of your story for the chance to win a crit from agent Natalie Fischer! Get all the details here to check out all the participants and/or sign up yourself! The idea is that we crit each other's first 250 words and then send the polished versions in for judging.

Here are my first 250 words for the current YA mystery WIP, RECOVERING SARA:
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I would never have been at a support group, on a precious Saturday no less, if my mother hadn’t pulled out every maternal threat that still worked at sixteen. Mostly, that if I did not stop sulking and get in the goddamn car so she could drive me to the Y, she would not drive me anywhere I actually wanted to go. I swear the only reason people move out to suburbs when they have children is so that they can hold them in thrall.

            

 “Okay guys,” Reggie said, swiping at her fangs of chin-length black hair. Reggie led the Young Adults With Ulcerative Colitis Support Group. So far, she wasn’t what I expected from a support group leader. I thought she’d be more bouncy and enthusiastic. She smiled a lot, but beneath the false cheer she seemed irritated.  Ulcerative colitis does that to us all.  “Let’s go around and do introductions. I see some new faces here tonight.”

            
 I gnawed on one shiny pink fingernail while I waited for the introductions to come around to me.  There was a small girl with dark hair and glasses sitting across from me. She looked like she should be across the hall at a support group for Second Graders With Ulcerative Colitis. 

I stole a glance at the boy on my right, not wanting him to catch me looking. He was red haired, the kind of tall and gawky that doesn’t seem to know quite what to do with hands and knees. He crossed his legs at the knee and then uncrossed them yet again. 

So you know how things always come in threes?

I joked on Twitter the other day, after the sad early deaths of our dishwasher and car, that bad things always seem to come in threes and that was giving me a sort of dread.

Apparently merited. Because something else moderately horrible happened this week. Unfortunately it's not my story alone, so it's not being posted on the blog (at least not yet) - but yeah, serious bad luck and general yuckiness in my life right now.

Also, I got four rejection letters this week. Right when I needed them. Thanks, universe!

However, I'm still pretty happy - now that I believe fate is finished having its twisted way with me for the moment. I still have MJ and Starbucks frappucinos and good books and writing to do and long runs to take, all of which cheer me. 

So in that vein, I thought I'd share a bit of the WIP. It's a YA mystery about a girl, Dia, trying to figure out why her best friend Sara tried to kill herself. Sara's currently in the hospital with drug-related amnesia. Dia's just returned from a fact-finding mission, trying to fill in the blanks of Sara's memory. Dia and her mom have a loving, but strained, relationship.

After Danny and I said goodbye, I wanted to head up to my room to think in private. But Mom intercepted me before I even made it to the stairs.

             

“How was it?” she asked, smiling.

             

“Fine.” I said, in that tone of voice that’s meant to indicate a stupid question.

             

“So,” she said. “He looks cute.”

             

I turned and glanced out the windows. The Mustang was pulling away from the curb. “His car is cute. You couldn’t really see him from here.”

             

“He’s cute,” Mom said. “I saw enough.”

              

“He’s not boyfriend material." I headed for the stairs.  "Not that I’m girlfriend material.”

            

 “You are. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

             

“Really?” I asked. The incredulity in my voice was genuine for once. “You say that even though I must annoy the shit out of you too?”

           

“Oh, Dia.” Mom’s expression was sad, a little shocked. She didn’t even scold me about language.

             

“Danny’s just a… friend,” I said. The last word stuck on my lips a little. Danny and I barely knew each other.  But he was trying to be a friend, and that was nice. I managed a smile at Mom and went up the stairs.

             

“You don’t annoy me, sweetie,” she said to my back. “I love you.”

             

“Not exclusive!” I called back, before I went into my room and shut the door.

Being a grown-up is expensive. Also? It sucks.

Last weekend, MJ and I started a big home reno project. Right now we had a mud room between our garage and family room that's pretty, well, sad looking.

Standing open on the right is the door from the garage; this is the view standing in the doorway to the living room. The green carpet from when we moved in, despite numerous vacuumings and deep cleanings, still feels squicky to me to walk across with my bare feet.  It's a great space, but we're making a bunch of changes to it. Beginning this past weekend, when we ripped out all those built-ins and shelves you see in there now and started tearing up the carpet.

Then Sunday night, we loaded the dishwasher and it made the most horrible noises. There was a distinct smell of burning.

Monday morning, MJ texted me to let me know the car had died on the way to work.

By Wednesday, we had a quote on the car that was equal to the actual value of the car.

By Thursday, we'd been to Home Depot twice. New dishwashers are expensive.

So.  Now my house is a mess, with the canned goods and extra toilet paper and coats that live in the mud room ordinary piled up in the family room. I have no dishwasher until we buy and install the new one. We have to shop for and buy a new car, which is pretty much hell for me.  We still have the non-minor home reno project in the mud room (ripping up carpet, installing a wall and door, painting, tiling). 

And, of course, there's still work and grad school.  We don't want to talk about how grad school is going - my manta is "Six more weeks" right now. I've postponed my planned vacation to Europe because there's no time in my work schedule for me to take two weeks off, so I'm vaguely hoping things open up in the fall, maybe?

I'll be a happy Guin when this particular season of my life is over.

Twitter pitch contest!

Chanelle Gray of Beyond Words is hosting a very neat Twitter pitch contest with agent Michael Carr. You provide your 140 character pitch and the first 3 sentences, and not only will there be a winner, but there might be some manuscript requests! All genres.

You can check out the contest, if you'd like to enter, and the contenders here: http://chanellegray.blogspot.com/2011/03/twitter-pitch-contest.html
If you're entering, you have until there are 75 entries OR March 7th, whichever comes first. There's still time, so go check it out!

Here's my pitch:

After the Goddess of Vengeance co-opts Lauren's body to punish wrongdoers, Lauren fights to bring justice, not vengeance, to the suffering.

That's 139 characters, so I have a whole character left over to spare, too (If you think of a good use for it, let me know).

Even if you're not entering, it's a brutal interesting exercise. :)

I'm officially sick of my blog

I know, I'm crap at posting lately. I'm writing and revising frantically, but I don't have much to say about writing. I can't really base entire posts around SO REVISIONS ARE HARD WORK and OMG WHY DID I WRITE THIS IN PRESENT TENSE NOW I HAVE TO FIX IT. :)

Or even, HEY LOOK I GOT ANOTHER REJECTION BACK.

So I'm officially taking my blog in a bit of a different direction.  I'll still post about writing, publishing, and books when I have something to say. But there are other things I'd like to talk about - yet I don't really have the content (or time) to support a whole 'nother blog. Plus, I love this one. And I love you guys who read me!  :)

I'd like to post more about the other things that are also Not My Day Job but still my passions: animal rescue, running, cooking. Movies. Travel. MJ. Life. Art. General geekery.

I hope you guys will bear with me as I figure out what I'm doing here and try to make my blog into something shinier and funnier! It's about to get a little random... but really, I'm a little random too.

Book Rec: Shine by Lauren Myracle

I read Shine by Lauren Myracle on the bus to New York City for SCBWI. Which, really, if you're reading on a bus and totally into the novel, no longer noticing that you are ON A BUS,  you know it's a good book.

Shine is a very good book.

When her best guy friend falls victim to a vicious hate crime, sixteen-year-old Cat sets out to discover who in her small town did it. Richly atmospheric, this daring mystery mines the secrets of a tightly knit Southern community and examines the strength of will it takes to go against everyone you know in the name of justice.

The plot is actually a lot more complex than that - while Cat is trying to solve the crime as her childhood friend fights for life in the hospital, she also has her own dark secrets to face as she learns to shine again. She hasn't been a very good friend to Patrick, something that haunts her after he is viciously attacked. We slowly learn the reasons why Cat has tried to become invisible, even though that's meant abandoning Patrick. The mystery in Shine is very well-done (by which I mean, I didn't see it coming ;)), but I think the characterization and the complexity of those characters was what I really loved.  The bad guys aren't all bad and the good guys aren't all good - I really appreciated that ambiguity.

I don't want to tell you too much about the book because I don't want to give anything away!  It releases May 1st and is available for pre-order now; I recommend you don't miss this one!

Book Rec: Here Lies Bridget by Paige Harbison

I had the chance to read Here Lies Bridget on my Kindle, which was convenient, but I missed out on that gorgeous cover. I'm a sucker for a pretty cover, and I really love this one!

Here's what this YA paranormal is about (from Amazon):
Bridget Duke is the uncontested ruler of her school. The meanest girl with the biggest secret insecurities. And when new girl Anna Judge arrives, things start to fall apart for Bridget: friends don't worship as attentively, teachers don't fall for her wide-eyed "who me?" look, expulsion looms ahead and the one boy she's always loved—Liam Ward—can barely even look at her anymore.

When a desperate Bridget drives too fast and crashes her car, she ends up in limbo, facing everyone she's wronged and walking a few uncomfortable miles in their shoes. Now she has only one chance to make a last impression. Though she might end up dead, she has one last shot at redemption and the chance to right the wrongs she's inflicted on the people who mean the most to her.

And Bridget's about to learn that, sometimes, saying you're sorry just isn't enough…. 

This was a fun, fast read. Given that it's miraculously in, like, the 70's right now here in February, I'm thinking it'd be a great book to read while laying out in the sun.

Bridget's not a very nice person - she lies constantly, she gets other students into trouble, she plays on others' insecurities. But more than anything, she's endlessly self-absorbed and chooses to overlook others' problems so she can continue focusing on herself. I thought Paige Harbison did a nice job of making Bridget an understandable bully, even though sometimes it became frustrating to read page after page of Bridget being an obtuse witch.

I liked the secondary characters and her interactions with them. Her friends are nicely drawn and so is the love interest, Liam - it helps that when Bridget walks in their shoes, we get to know these characters from the inside out, too.

At times I felt like watching Bridget be mean dragged a little - perhaps because it's just frustrating as a reader. One wants to grab Bridget and shake her.  But, once Bridget crashes her car, the story picks up and the second half of the book is well-paced and hard to put down. I liked that Bridget's redemption isn't entirely easy and it's bittersweet -- not everyone is willing to forgive her the damage she's done.

Happy Valentine's Day! Now Show Me The Love

Stephanie over at The Writer's Cocoon is hosting the Show Me The Love blogfest.

This is a fun one where we're just sharing the answers to a few questions with each other... I'd love to know what your answers are!

1- What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?  

MJ moved across the country for me. We dated in college and planned to break up when I joined the Marines, but we failed at breaking up! So we were in a long-distance relationship, until he followed me out to California - sent his stuff out in boxes, sold his old car, and jumped on a plane to be with me.

2- What is your favorite love song?
Billy Joel's "Just The Way You Are".  It was the first dance song at our wedding, and I think the lyrics capture what love truly is. Don't go changing, to try and please me, you've never let me down so far. I take the good times, I take the bad times, I take you just the way you are.

3- Do you have a favorite romantic movie or book? 
My favorite romantic movie is Ever After. Best take-off on the Cinderella story ever. My favorite romantic book is probably Hotel On the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford - a believable story about love's trials, eventually conquering all.

4- Do you have any romantic plans for Valentine's Day this year?
I know this is a little off-beat, but I'd like to go snowboarding after work! We both love to board & I love that we have this shared hobby. The drive to the mountain is a long one, but we always pick up Starbucks at the beginning of the journey and spend the drive talking, which makes it fun too.

5- What's your favorite romantic treat? 
A long massage or flowers. I love having flowers in the house - it makes me happy every time I see them - so they're always much appreciated.

I hope you all have a fantastic Valentine's Day!

The Passionate Reader

By now you’ve probably seen the controversy over Bitch magazine’s list of 100 YA Books for the Feminist Reader. Basically, Bitch magazine put out a list of 100 books, a few readers complained about some of them, and they removed three from the list and replaced them with other books. Which made many more readers angry.

This blog post is not about that, because frankly, I’d be about two weeks late covering the topic and many other bloggers have already done a great job discussing it. I'm going to write about something positive I saw in it, personally.

One thing that fascinated me about the topic was that some commenters were shocked that readers were so worked up about the books being removed from the list. So emotionally invested. Reeling with perceived unfairness.

But isn’t that exactly the sort of passion that literature should evoke, ideally?  I understand when someone doesn’t like the same books that I do. I love the idea that there’s no one Universal Reader, that different stories and techniques work for different people. But when someone bashes a book I love?  It hurts my feelings.

When you find a story that moved me small, it rather implies the things I care about in real life are small, too.

Someone called Elizabeth Scott's Living Dead Girl, which I blogged about last year, ‘torture porn’, to justify its removal from the list. Now, that book was very hard to read, due to the subject matter. But I found it worthwhile. I consider to be an incredible piece of fiction about the triumph of a girl’s spirit over terrible suffering and depravity. It’s a feminist work, but it’s also a powerful, relevant piece of literature. We force ourselves to read about suffering, unpleasant as it is, to better understand the human spirit, and perhaps to recognize the plight of our fellow humans. To me, that's true whether we're talking about a heartbreaking work of non-fiction like Elie Wiesel's Night or a work of (all too realistic) fiction like Living Dead Girl.

When you suggest people read that sort of thing because they like to read about the torture and sexual abuse of a young girl, though, that becomes just a might offensive to me.  And that, I think, is the sort of thing at the heart of why readers became so inflamed about books being removed from the list once they’d been so honored. Don’t tell me the books that moved me, that I love, aren’t worthy after all. 

To me, wherever you fall in the Bitch magazine debate -- even if you find the debate itself silly, as some do -- you can’t deny that passion about books is a beautiful thing. It means people are engaged with their literature. That these authors wrote stories that touched people deeply, enough to be personally angered on their behalf, protective of these stories.

Personally, I think that's pretty cool.

The Adventure That Was January

 So far the year has been full of writing adventure - from the fantastic SCBWI conference held in NYC last weekend to the focused insanity that is Write 1 Sub 1. This month was the first month of Write 1 Sub 1, a year-long project to write (and submit!) a short story every week.

I wrote five short stories in January:

1. Pomegranate Soda, about the challenges coming home from Iraq;
2. All We Know of Heaven and Hell, a sci-fi story about a woman who joins a dangerous space mission to earn the money to save her young daughter's life from leukemia;
3. Why Peter Came, a horror piece of flash-fiction where there's trouble at the Darling residence (I love this story but feel guilty turning my beloved Peter Pan stories into something darker);
4. Alien Lands, another realistic contemp story about life in Iraq;
5. Every Other Sunday, about family and grief.

I subbed out seven stories altogether to fourteen different markets.  Which allowed me to garner my first three rejections of the year (well, from that batch; there was another that came in on the 1st of the year, which was an especially nice touch).  I'm not too bothered by those numbers, though. Like many short story writers I sub to the top journals that seem appropriate and then work my way down the list.

I made my way about 1/3 of the way through this round of revisions on my novel The Goddess of Vengeance Wore Pink Galoshes. Sometimes I'm overcome by despair of the revision process, but usually I'm full of excitement about this story and the process of making it even better.

Aaand my YA mystery work-in-progress now has a working title: Recovering Sara. Love love love this thing, even in rough draft. I'm at about 13k and taking a break from writing to go through revisions - I was experimenting with first person present tense and I've decided first person past fits the tale a bit better. It was fun for me as a writer to do first person present, but I think it reads more accessibly this way.

So yeah. That's January. What are you guys up to this month? What's coming up in February?

SCBWI NY Conference was the awesome.

I just typed that title and then realized that LOLcats has had a serious impact on my quality of life. Anyway.

I have no photos to show you, because my camera charger is missing in action. However, you can check out lots of awesome photos and commentary of the conference at the official SCBWI conference blog. I think all the writers on the blog did an impressive job of conveying the fun and excitement of the conference!

Here were some favorite parts on the conference for me:

• Running into other folks from the D.C. area! I got all excited like we were long-lost cousins or something, and I'm looking forward to meeting up with them now that we're home.
• Lois Lowry's keynote, which brought tears to my eyes when she spoke about her sister dying and inspired me when told us to "Give sorrow words". And which made me laugh many, many more times.
• Sprawling an idea in my notebook every 10 minutes while also trying to take notes on all the great advice we were hearing. I don't think you can go to a conference and not be inspired.
• Breakout with Jim McCarthy, agent at Dystel & Goderich. He just let us ask any questions we had about the industry or trends or how we works as an agent - it was so helpful and awesome.
• The 35 book recommendations I came home with. You know what's cool, too? Hearing how excited agents are about the books they represent. It just never really hit home for me before how much they LOVE these books, and it made me happy.
• Sarah Zarr's powerful, powerful speech on developing a sustainable, joyous creative life. Honestly, everything she said was exactly what I needed to hear that morning.
• Giant, fantastic cupcakes around the corner at Crumbs. Because you can't write without cupcakes.

I really want to attend the LA SCBWI conference this summer. I came home and told MJ how much I wanted to go, but added, "I don't think it's reasonable for me to spend that much money on a second conference in one year, though." And he said I should go.  Which made me wish I'd brought him home a cupcake instead of eating it.

It was just such a fun, inspiring weekend, which went by much too quickly. I came home so excited to write - and even excited to query.  Which is why I'm signing off now to continue revising The Goddess of Vengeance Wore Pink Galoshes so I can query the damn thing when it's finally As Awesome As I Can Be.

Sooo... anyone else want to do the LA SCBWI conference?